Difference Between Dating & Being in a Relationship
I don't think you are right.. I don't get why single women obviously come to a married woman's blog and get salty because she has the viewpoint of guess what….. I got pregnant and married a man and hav a daughter in high school who excels at many things. I was crushed when my boyfriend of three years left to be with another woman. It was then that I decided to shift my personal focus. Thanks for weighing in — you know I appreciate the comment love, always. I probly didn't help but ya!
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Although the two involve two particular individuals, these two terms could not be more different from each other. We might have lived together for 7 years without a ring. Being married, I can see both sides of the argument. You do make some good points, but I will say that as I've mentioned this was meant to be a humorous attempt at sending an important message to women who do not have great boyfriends and assume that their relationships are "like a marriage". We talk about all things with each other, we even bump heads at times.
Bottom line is that Marriage is a sacred bond. Woman these days will just accept anything from a man, just to say they have one. A man who truly loves you wants every one to know it and has no problems or excuses when it comes to getting married.
Marriage is just a legal aspect — the relationship between two people, that is where it's at. Just because he is a husband doesnt mean he loves you more or is a better man because you are married. Marriage in reality means so very little.
I'm thankful I am not married. Not even my boyfriend now can ever convince me to marry — why would I want to try to change what we have now? Its wonderful as it is and serves us both.. A legal label as if what we have isn't enough unless we're legally married. His respect, his honor and his love by how he makes his choices and what he does defines our relationship — not a marriage license.
Then what was the point in getting married if you belive havinf a boyfriend is no different than having a husband? Sure — some boyfriends will more closely resemble husbands. But I specifically want to comment on the differences you identified in your first two points. The finality of marriage isn't about changing the relationship it's about fulfilling it.
Marriage is actually the ultimate realization of a relationship that constantly grows and evolves with the couple. It's not about a label.
That's what a lot of single and married! It's when a woman thinks marriage won't happen or that he doesn't want it that she starts to settle for an "alternative contentment". Women who refer to long-term boyfriends as "husbands" really want the commitment of marriage — as most women do — but they fear they won't ever get it.
This fear and insecurity explains why these women get very upset when the topic is discussed. They don't want to hear that their relationship that they work so hard to maintain is not real or true. They console themselves by telling themselves that there is "no difference" between a long-term boyfriend and a husband. But there is — the husband got down on his knee, registered with state authorities — in other words, he got REAL.
Wives get benefits from husbands' jobs, get their pensions, get acknowledgment from family and friends at a ceremony, whether small or large. Long-term relationships are a cop out, and these women know it. They want to be married, but they know their so called men might be scared off if they dare bring up the subject.
It's fear and insecurity, plain and simple. Go ahead, you who are single and shacked up, get mad — the truth hurts, but it'll set you free from a lie. I agree with your position but not some of your arguments! The first two were dynamic but as a woman shacking up, without a ring on it, my boyfriend covers almost everything after the second second argument, down to the feminine supplies! Ha, thanks for commenting Lauren! I agree that there are some truly great boyfriends, and some truly crappy husbands out there that are total exceptions — glad you found one!
My recent post Refreshing Rain. I laughed at your reply, you are cooky! Look at your language" promote him", we are in a partnership, he is not my minion. You are clearly single or prayerfully not involved with that mentality!!!!! Maybe you have never heard a boyfriend say til death do us part, but I'm pretty sure you've heard plenty of wives and husband say, "I want a divorce, we're separated, or the divorce has been finalized! As far as a certain level of commitment, who the hell made you the moral radar police?
Thanks for the laugh suga! Marriage is the ultimate symbol of commitment. My recent post Where is my passion? That was a good one, sis. It got me thinking. In my opinion,boyfriends should never act like husbands,they should never have the same privileges as a husband.
Why would anyone even equate A boyfriend to a husband? I'm going to be honest, I didn't date to just have a "boyfriend". Marriage ISN'T for every one. But let's not get it twisted, it's a lot easier to get out of a relationship than it is a marriage.
My recent post Odds and Ends: I love this post! I have a few friends that need to read this. Something about boyfriends to me just seems so… temporary. I don't get it, but I guess it's not for me to get. My recent post The Marriage Check Up. I could not agree with you more!! Husbands in the best and truest sense of the word know God and know that marriage is a sacred union that cohabitation could never touch. I know women who are settling and have convinced themselves otherwise.
I was on my way to being one when stuck in a long-term, dead-end relationship, but I knew it wasn't the same thing and wanted and deserved more.
Dating for years on end may "work" for some, but to me, marriage is a covenant, not just two people in love and staying together for an indefinite period of time. It symbolizes the ultimate level of exclusivity and commitment. If you don't get it, you don't get it. And, yes, my hubby knows my brand.: Girls and their boyfriends are just mating just like animals of opposite sexes pairing, especially for reproduction. Married couple makes true God given marital love!
Family flaws are there just as they are in every social institution and in fact they are everywhere! I've watched many people stand before God and pledge their love til death do them part, and guess what? They ended up in divorce court! Divorce wouldn't be at the level it is IF most men believed that their wife was the end all be all. I am a single woman, never been married and I do believe in marriage.
I just know that there are men that are committed to a long haul my honey being one without having signed a marriage license. Just because he married you, that is NOT a guarantee that he will be with you, faithful to you forever. Again I believe in marriage and some day I will get married but a good man is a good man, if you have one appreciate him and respect him in whichever way best suited for you! I am really happy that dr.
A ring on your finger is not going to stop you from having to support a family while you husband is home on line dating women and watching excessive amounts of porn and spending family money on himself. It will not stop the fact that he never helps with house hold chores or children. It is not going to stop what they do, or they want to do and we all say yeah sure its ok to take a wife for granted.
Men do not oogle other women when they are with their wives and children Rings do not make men husbands. Being married, I can see both sides of the argument. I lived with my husband before we got married, 5 months before we got engaged. However, we knew it was going to marriage, period. I agree, there are some men out there who get married and don't change. A serious marriage has changes in views and mindset. It's so much easier to just break up when you're in a long term relationship.
Divorce is such a long, drawn out process, when you're mad it really makes you think twice about leaving. A lot of people asked me "how's married life" once we got married, and at first I thought it was no different. But honestly, we have a deeper connection, we're more in tune and in sync. There's things that I simply won't tolerate as a wife that may not have been brought up as a girlfriend.
For those who believe in marriage, stick to your guns and don't let anyone change your mind. For those who are fine with long term relationships, just be sure you're on the same page. My recent post College Dropout No More. This could hurt a feelings yet this all are true and correct.
The difference with both side. Honestly you must undergo having a boyfriend so that you may able to know the background of your boyfriend first even though you may encounter lots of problems. My recent post how to get a girl to like you.
It can be difficult, but try to stay out of his domain e. Sometimes an ex will want to try again, especially if you leave him alone after he breaks up with you. In fact, they kinda hate it Live your own life after a split, make the best of things, learn to depend only on yourself for your own happiness, and become as confident and self-reliant as you possibly can. Guys DO like that! You know I just became hot!!!
Yes there is a significant difference between a boyfriend and a husband… and it is called responsibility! Husbands have a responsibility of heading a household.. A boyfriend while he may take care of you… there is no real responsibilty or liability.
If he decides that this is not what he wants he can leave and he has every right to. A husband…ummm not so easy.. Any grown woman who respects and values God and herself should want a man who will make this committment. I agree that marriage is not for everyone.. And I do believe that you can love a boyfriend just as much as I love my husband.
Love has no title but let's not confuse the two.. The two are not the same…. Boundaries are so easily crossed and people are hurt and scorned.
It's extremely sad but nonetheless true. I think that those who believe that the two are interchangable should ask themselves this one question… Would it be ok for your daughter to treat a man as her husband… deal with all the ups and downs of a marriage and perform wifely duties but never recieve the title???
It's more than a ring or a paper…. Marriage is the ultimate commitment. A regular relationship is just that, a relationship for how long…I don'tknow. Yes, they are some people these days who do not know what marriage is and proceed anyway hence divorce. I have known many boyfriends who have left very easy when things got hard or they were given more responsibility. Husbands do not see things as that easy. They will communicate and try to work things out with their wives. There are no ins and outs in marriage.
I hate that people are downgrading marriage. My recent post Excuse Me. As a guy, I agree with your post. Between a boyfriend and a husband, the husband is a better deal. It's also nice to know that the person loves you and accepts you that he is willing to commit the rest of his life for you, right?
My recent post Meet the Kabuki Brushes: I had a grin on my face while reading this: You are so right about everything, especially this one: Husbands work on making your life together better, they spend on the house. My recent post cosmetic dentistry uk. Each thing listed, my boyfriend does. I do think married women tend to make generalizations about husbands vs. What I don't understand is how married women, marry boyfriends who didn't already do the things listed above.
If your man needs to make you his wife to get you female products, come home at a decent time, etc…then there's something else going on, way beyond a ring or a marriage. I'm very recently engaged and I appreciate and respect the man my boyfriend was before he proposed.
If he wasn't that man already, I wouldve been a fool to say yes. Lastly, not every women's expectations of a man or relationship match…so it's not fair to seemingly make your marriage have more value than her longterm relationship.
Never once did I think my boyfriend would up and leave or that he thought our relationship was easy to get rid of. With the way marriages fall apart constantly, please, save the judgements against single people.
We are all, hopefully, working to preserve our relationships, ring or no ring. Thanks for the feedback. You do make some good points, but I will say that as I've mentioned this was meant to be a humorous attempt at sending an important message to women who do not have great boyfriends and assume that their relationships are "like a marriage".
If being pr-marriage sounds "snobbish", I apologize, but that is most certainly the point of this blog. I am pro-marriage and pro-love. I've often been called "too kind" but most-certainly never a snob.
I'm so sorry you and a few others didn't understand the humor in this piece. Clearly i wouldn't think every husband or boyfriend would fit these rules.
That wouldn't be realistic and honesty is what I strive for on this blog. I don't think women speak enough about the type of caliber of man worth marrying or committing to long-term and I want to do so. My husband was all of those things as a boyfriend, and even more so as a husband. I am not judging single people in general, but I do have some judgements regarding single women who choose to be with a man who's not worthy of their greatness and parade around as his "wife' without getting the love and respect she deserves.
As always, I'm so glad we can continue to have a healthy debate here. I don't expect my readers to see eye-to-eye with me on everything, and I as I constantly say, all opinions welcome.
Judging from the amount of comments here, this post was certainly worth sharing because discussion is healthy. Thank you for being a gracious blogger who welcomes all feedback. That means a lot. By no means do I think you're a snob, but sometimes the way wives celebrate their marriages comes across as me and my marriage are up here and you and your relationship are down here.
I love to hear wives speak positively about their husbands and marriages, but sometimes the true purpose and intent gets lost in translation. Any woman, married or not, in a relationship that lacks love and respect can grow from a message about the caliber of man worth marrying or being with. I appreciate the conversations you're starting here. I don't get why single women obviously come to a married woman's blog and get salty because she has the viewpoint of guess what….. You were fine like you were, right??
Hi Tiffany, My point was not don't get married, or don't get engaged. Simply be mindful that there are some boyfriends who do what husbands do. I can only speak on my relationship and the marriages I know. I think marriage is a beautiful thing, but I also think couples who aren't married, but who treat each other fairly and with love, are important.
And if a woman feels her boyfriend treats her as she would want her husband to, I think that's great. She invited at the end of her post for single women to state if they agree or disagree, so that's what they did.
Someone stating their opinions about the flaws in this article when clearly invited to do so by the author at the end is not "getting salty". And I have to agree with all my fellow marriage defenders…I was the girlfriend, turned unintentional baby momma-fiance, and now the wife… I found a good man who was once a good boyfriend and is now a great husband — yes, I say "good" bf because he has grown A LOT since then. Despite our ups and downs, there is an indescribable feeling knowing that I am his wife.
Yes, the divorce rate is high, and our culture has removed the value of marriage, but you know what? What appears popular isn't anything close to what God intended marriage for, and that is not how my husband and I will end up.
We are committed not to and we reaffirm that commitment every time we hit a rough patch. We were notorious for "taking breaks" when the going got tough. Marriage forced us to grow up and work out our problems instead of running from them. Of course, I don't advise marrying someone you aren't prepared to do that with. Marriage is by far the hardest journey we have embarked on even harder than my experience in medical school thus far , but looking back on the past year, we have grown more during our almost 2 year marriage than we had in the 3 years of being together before that.
Not trying to sound "snobby" or anything…To each their own, but I will say, don't knock it until you've tried it. I agree that there is a major difference. Marriage is ordained my God.
So ordained that he hung the hinges of marriage on his love for his people, the church. Some may think that this is old fashioned, but the word of God never changes!!! It is his set idea and I don't care what society says or even how we feel, God honors marriage. A boyfriend will never get the same results or fullfillment of a husband. It's just not God's order. When you are out of order, many things are subject to take place.
Thats just my take on it. Should be discussed more in detail!! Have a great day!! I agree with this post. I'm currently engaged, and my wedding is next spring. As someone who has been through the stages of girlfriend and a fiance, I've noticed the difference in the relationship.
The methodology changes with the natural flow. I don't mean to sound "snobbish," but I feel as though marriage is the ultimate level in a relationship, and it's a level that I feel as though I need to be at with my fiance. He obviously feels the same way since he asked me to be his wife, six months after dating me. Thanks for dropping by to weigh in.
I think a lot of women do feel the way you and I do. We're often criticized for how it comes over, but there our own unique definition of love and commitment are part of what define us — not to acknowledge them or defend them would be "wrong too.
I was with my husband for 5 years before we got married, he has grown but he is still the same man I fell in love with. Husband is the evolution of a boyfriend not a totally different person. My recent post Husbands are just legal Boyfriends. I absolutely agree with the points made in the article and the pro-marriage commenters.
I want that acknowledgement, from both a legal and social perspective, that says I am the ONE. When a couple is married there is an unconscious motivation to put forth more effort to work things out when times get hard.
For example, they can make medical decisions and automatically sit next to their loved one in a hospital's intensive care unit. Spouses also have the automatic right to benefits such as retirement pensions, health insurance, K funds, social security for themselves and their children, etc. In addition, I'm reminded of a case where a man who died had an out of wedlock child. The child was born several years after he had listed his mother as beneficiary on his insurance policy and the child had not been adjudicated by a court as his offspring adjudicated means the court has decreed he is the father, prior to that he is the alleged father.
Nor was the child entitled to his Social Security benefits. Since this man didn't have the child listed as beneficiary on his insurance policy the insurance money went to his mother and she chose to not share it with the child.
This is why gays and lesbians are fighting so hard for the right to marry. Heterosexuals have the right to marry yet are making a mockery of the institution. If someone wants to shack up that of course their choice but, in my humble opinion, they are wasting their precious time because if there is a breakup they have nothing to show for their "time" investment. That is not the case when one is married.
If someone is married for a certain length of time they are automatically entitled to benefits e. A commitment is a commitment wether or not a ring is involved. Marriage has its benefits and security for a woman. But in reality nothing is ever secure, you must always take care of yourself first before you take care of anyone else. My names Bobby but my girlfriend has been calling me Bubby ever since we got together 4 years ago,and its grown on me. I think marriage is all in the mind.
For instance,my girlfriends mom still trys to controll her and treats her like a kid and I think if we got married she might just leave us alone and accept that we are adults. I feel marriage is a sence of maturity and a way to commit your love of detication,so I think thats the only difference. Thank You,Bubby an Carley P.
Please email me at robertmjr85 gmail. This post is very wrong a very snobbish…. My boyfriend treats me more like a husband than my ex husband ever did. That is why he is not my husband anymore. It is an insult to every human when to make generalizations like this. Some people don't have money to have a wedding or a big fancy ring.
Signing a piece of paper doesn't mean the same things to all people and vows are just words which are either followed up by respectful or not respectful actions.
And Actions my dear speak far louder than words. A Ring does not stop your husband from looking at other women or make your relationship any better or worse.
While I like the idea of vows I see most weddings are just pomp and circumstance these days and they are more a business catering to women's "princess egos" than anything else. If you don't understand the base principles of love respect and kindness when you are with your boyfriend who may become your husband and vice versa your marriage will instantly be in trouble. In truth a marriage should not change anything but only enhance what you already had. So sorry I think your post is weak, even if it was meant to be partially humorous.
SkiGirl, you just don't get my humor. This blog isn't for you. My husband, lived in another state 6 hours away. We dated for 6 months. We recited our own vows. No pomp and circumstance… no bridesmaids and groomsmen…Just US and it was beautiful. A man who wants to commit will do so, no matter what the circumstances are. If it's really all about the love between the both of you, all that stuff will not matter and shouldn't matter.
Marriage is more than a dress, some flowers, and a big cake. If you get married to the right person for the right reasons, and you trust each other, all the negative things you mentioned will not be a factor.
A boy friend is someone interviewing to be a husband. Stumbled on your article while trying to figure out a relationship problem with my current fella.
I know many women over 50 whose lives have been miserable or unhappy due to poor mate choice. Marriage you can't run from or take a break from. Problems are real and you have to handle them like a team. I could go either way for most of the arguments — i do not think my husband loves me any more or less because of a ring.
But the symbol and the memories of the promises we made before God, family, and friends somehow does make a difference during the tougher times. The next of kin will make all the choices, if none, the doctor.
Those choices may or may not be what your hubby would choose. No one thinks tragedy will strike in their home. Btw, I did get the humor and thought it was a funny blog. Also close this question. What Guys Said 3. Boyfriend and girlfriend is exclusive and dating is not. Does that make me the gray area in between? What Girls Said 3. Most Helpful Opinion mho Rate. Select as Most Helpful Opinion? You cannot undo this action. The opinion owner is going to be notified and earn 7 XPER points. Also close this question Not now Select.
Iamges: whats the difference between dating and boyfriend and girlfriend
But in my experience there are quite a few differences that some women choose to ignore for convenience and that's what I was trying to find a humorous way to address here. Long-term relationships are a cop out, and these women know it. Marriage is just a legal aspect — the relationship between two people, that is where it's at.
I wish the girl i loved was my wives. The moment i read the husband part i see me.
Could it be that the idea of a legal marriage frightens one or both of them? Well either the guy or brtween girl could also be dating several people. When boyfrienv are married both husband and wife becomes one, you can never be one with a boyfriend. Boyfriends feel very little guilt gawking at the occasional hot chick passing by, or harmlessly flirting with a co-worker. This is because, as mentioned earlier, dating is often done to see whether or not an individual would make a suitable partner. Marriage is just a legal aspect — the relationship between two people, that is where it's at.
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