It’s a year ago this week that I was traumatized by the sociopath I was in love with.
He called me an insecure bitch. And yet…here I am. The way things were meant to be. My ex broke up with me in our aniversary said he wanted to focus on himself than 2 days later he was with someome else its been almost 2 months and they still together i am focusing on me but its hard not to think of how bad he hurt me 18 months and he trew me away like i was nothing after everything i did for him.
106 Replies to “The Sociopathic Liar – Beware of this Dangerous Sociopath”
Needless to say, I am so upset I cant even function. He would say he could destroy someone if they hurt him and no one knows what someone is capable off. I am glad that I did as I learned a lot. The warning signs are always there; it's just difficult to see them because once we trust someone, the friendship becomes a blinder. I can help you increase your income, land that job you are after, help you achieve success in many fields, improve your luck, and much more… i: How many have I gotten?
They will go to great lengths to cover their tracks, OR make the tracks look arbitrary: Do a google search on derailment for dummys. As I said before, sociopaths fear one thing: No one can be trusted, and plant a seed of doubt their own trick: Psychos also do not love God…. Psychos are all about themselves- that prideful heart that the Lord despises Proverbs How did I not know? I have a BA in Psychology! I was psychologically and emotionally tortured for so many years and the last two became so intense when I opened a business and began making my own connections and coming out from under his spell, so to speak.
He has been making my life a living Hell since we split but playing it off like he is the gentleman giving me anything I want.
Your suggestion about having a witness and recording conversations is exactly what I have been thinking about doing because he says the most extremely insane things that fluctuate from one end of the spectrum to the opposite in the same conversation. I am terrified and anxious because he was basically raised in the courtroom even representing himself and getting off of a minimum seven year sentence convincing the judge that what he really needed was rehabilitation and all he got was three months in an inpatient facility for a substance abuse problem.
He just played the system telling them what they wanted to hear and was so proud of it. The police were no help either. The first time I called in my life. They told me that I was making a big deal out of nothing, to call a family member or something to come over, and that I could always call back if anything happened! It is surely in his best interest.
He should not be talking to him about it at all. Thank you for your help. Thanks for your comment, how are things going now? It certainly sounds like he is a 1st class manipulator! Stand your ground and believe in yourself and know you are doing the right thing for your chld. I hot sick of all his lies and womanizing and kicked him to the curb and now he is preying prey into on another. Money and i feel bad for her. I loved him but he scares the shut out of me.
I was involved on and off with a sociopath for several months. He was the most convincing and manipulative man I have ever run across, I felt I had finally met my soulmate. He is English, because of his accent, he could charm the pants off of you literally, He was a pathological liar and preyed on vulnerable woman, older woman and he once told me once that he used to be a womanizer. Which should have been red flag I needed, to run far away.
He was affectionate, told me everything I wanted to hear and would disappoint me in the same breath. But, he would make it seem like i was the one that was in the wrong, for not understanding him. This man would come in my life, turn it upside down and then disappear. This last time he came into my life, I had had enough and took measures to protect myself.
I met with a therapist and she strongly encouraged me to not having any further contact with him. He will never admit to doing something wrong or apologize. He also has a lot of trouble with the law, but always finds his way out. He tells lies constantly, I know because he has given me different stories about the same situations. I have been feeling like there is something wrong with me but I have realized it is him. He seems indifferent to our relationship, yet I really feel like he cares about me.
It leaves me wondering if he actually cares about me at all or is just using me for his own benefit. Women get into relationships thinking they can change a man … but we cannot change them, what you have with your boyfriend will not change …. I have started dating an amazing woman. We have an incredible intimate relationship, but I started noticing a few things.
She was employed temporarily but kept deriding her employers. She spent her money on her son 27 who spent it on his girlfriend…. He is driving a car belonging to one of her boy friends. She stays with me for a day or two and then leaves, contrary to our plans. I have spent an inordinate amount of unbudgeted for money on her in 3 months.
Is her behavior sociopathic? You sound like a very caring man who wants to help her … but does she want to be helped George? Can you reply and let me know if you are still seeing her? I too have dated a man on and off for the last 10years who fits all what has been said above, he always claimed he truely loved me then would be cold and distant whenever I wanted to talk about things.
I find myself numb inside sad thing is I thought he truely loved me and it was because he had, had such an unhappy childhood searching for his mothers approvel, thought i could help him with his pain…What a fool I am, Found out he had 5 ex wives and 6 children who he did not have any contact with always someone else to blame. As long as I went along with what he wanted both in and out of the bedroom things were fine, I have cried endless nights for him when he would not take my calls, i always wondered how someone could say they loved you yet be so cold towards you everytime we parted, and when he came back it was as though nothing had happened and if we did talk it always came back to it being my fault..
How can I be so sucessful in other areas of my life yet suck at love or spotting this type of man, deep down I always knew something was missing in this man and by reading the above I now understand that it was never there in the first place to be missing. I now have to be strong and stay away from him and never put myself in this position again, I am worth and deserve so much more and someone who truely loves me!!!!! Oh honey, I understand what you are going through, I did that as well.
You know what signs to look out for now. There are good men out there and the perfect man is there for you as well. You are commenting using your WordPress. You are commenting using your Twitter account. You are commenting using your Facebook account.
Notify me of new comments via email. Notify me of new posts via email. Savvy Inspired Women's Blog. Love Kim xxx You need to be aware who you let into your life, single ladies and menfolk. Sociopaths are smooth talkers, always have an answer, and can seem very exciting. But their charm hides a chilly selfishness designed to torment. Run for your life! Relationship Advice , Soul Mate 17 Comments.
Maureen Greiner Pennington said: May 12, at 8: May 15, at 9: June 3, at 6: June 27, at 6: June 27, at 5: Oh Alison My heart goes out to you! July 17, at November 16, at February 14, at 3: Hi Zenobia Thanks for your comment, how are things going now? Stand your ground and believe in yourself and know you are doing the right thing for your chld I am sending love and angels to stand beside you.
September 16, at 4: November 6, at 2: Hi nomoresickguys Wonderful advice, I hope every lady who reads my blog reads your comment. These guys know which women are the most vulnerable and prey on them. I am so glad you took a stand and do not see him anymore. November 23, at 9: Hi Angie Women get into relationships thinking they can change a man … but we cannot change them, what you have with your boyfriend will not change … Believe you are worthy of a man who treats you well Kisses Kim xxx.
George van der Merwe said: Maybe a bit extreme but for me it was the only way to keep him fro knocking on my door. As I understand sociopathy, introspection is not even wthin the realm of possibility. You're far too introspective to be a sociopath. I grew up with a father who was a sociopath and have worried all my life that I would grow up to be one too. But a psychologist once told me that the very fact that I worried about it meant that I wasn't one.
So I say the same thing to you. The way you're analyzing yourself, your thoughts, your feelings means you couldn't possibly be a sociopath. You have a conscience. It's based in logic perhaps more than emotion, but that doesn't matter in the slightest.
It's logical to treat others in society with a certain measure of care and respect in order to keep the social order functioning. That is still a conscience. Sociopaths don't understand this on an emotional, logical, or any other level. Actually you're wrong there because sociopaths like anyone else are capable of thinking on a logical but like most people most sociopaths choose not to.
The thing here that I don't understand is why its necessary for me to preserve your boring social structure. I'm a sociopath and self introspection is a huge part of it. We know we are different. I'm a man of science and reason with an IQ that's only found in 1 in 50, people and although I don't believe in God in anyway, I would not have been the least bit surprised if he showed up to me and said, "you are the second coming of Jesus.
Through obsessive introspection and then comparing one's self with everyone else and the differences, you start to truly master the psyche of empaths. We experience loneliness it's a bit more like frustration , but it does motivate us to find a connection to anyone.
I think sociopaths who haven't figured it out are on a constant journey of self-introspection. I get slightly raged when empaths tell people how we think, like they know us. I'm a self-declared Psychonaut and an aspiring Shaman. Introspection is my past-time. I am also a sociopath.
The most frustrating thing about being a sociopath is that we are alone in a way that neurotypicals could never even begin to fathom. I will NEVER know [again] what it feels like to long for another person's company, to miss them when they are not there, or to be excited to see them once more.
I haven't felt any of that in many years. I can't even remember what it feels like. I will live and die alone, forced to watch every person around me chase that glorious high that only emotions can deliver To any NTs reading, I want to offer up an opportunity for you to walk in my shoes for a moment. I've got a lot of friends.
People like me, and not just because of some superficial charm. True, a good bit of my charm is superficial, and yeah, most of my social interactions feel forced or downright faked, but people like me for a different reason. Despite my less-than-human existence and my inability to form emotional connections, people are always drawn to me when they need help or advice.
I even used to think I was an empath because of it, hahaha But no, people are drawn to me because I know how to listen to be fair, I known how to pretend to listen extraordinarily well.
People are just so damn boring. More than that, I know how to listen without judging. I'm not bogged down by all of these petty, trivial emotions, so I don't look at other people with the same silly emotion-based prejudices that everyone else does. If I like someone, I accept them for all of who they are, the good and the bad. Not to toot my own horn, but it is truly unconditional. I can be "friends" with anyone. Definitely part of my gift I've never been one to rock the boat.
Now think about all your friends. Think about how you feel about them. Hold on to that while you read this next part: I've got friends that I've known pretty much all of my life. I've got friends that should be closer than family. I've got friends that have been through hell and back with me, who would show up at my beckon if needed It's very difficult to explain, but no matter how much I want to want other people, I never do. No matter how much I want to need to feel close to another human being, I never do.
No matter how much I want to be human, I never am. I don't miss people when they walk away. Out of sight truly becomes out of mind. And I do feel bad about it from time to time, but it doesn't change. People walk out of my life and it feels as though nothing has changed. I had one of my supervisors at work die a few months ago. She was a very nice lady, very hardworking, very fair.
I liked her very much. She was one of my favorite supervisors ever, for any job. But when I found out she died, I felt Most of my coworkers were standing around fighting tears or shamelessly crying and I felt cold and empty.
They say we don't feel guilt, but I do. I felt guilty that day. I felt guilty that this women I liked and came-as-close-to-respecting-as-I-could died and all I could do was think "wow, that's And a few moments later, it was as if nothing at all had happened. I know I'm a monster. But I also know that it's not my fault. I feel the same way After reading your letter ands after having a long term relatioship with a "tru" sociophath I can see that you are very manipulative in your letter trying to swade the reader towards what you want them to belive.
For isntance that you don't lie, or that you don't hurt people, you are unable to see yourself for who you are and you were so manupulative on that letter I amost felt for it BRAVO! You are a true sociopath. I definitely can relate, and I also agree that introspection is a useful things.
It is a strange thing however, that even though I share the same ideas and experiences with you, I know if we met I wouldn't have any more of an ability to value you over the next person. I have this chasm that exists in my relationships. I can see people as being more or less useful to my life, but switch them out with another person with the same resources and I don't ever miss them.
Sure if there is not someone to replace them, I might say to myself, it's unfortunate to not have so and so around, I liked how he always drove me places, or I might miss the sex life of an ex, but never the person gone.
And I do think it is unbalanced, and I often see people with emotions exchanging resources in a way that seems much more fulfilling to them both.
I know that is something I will never have, no matter how hard I try, I will never be able to care or empathize with another human being.
So what would you do, if you knew that you were unable to feel that fulfilling connection? Yet you knew that you needed connection to have any fulfillment. To the person who posted Anonymous April 4, 5: I am also a sociopath as well as a self declared psychonaut and an aspiring shaman. Not only do I relate to you in this sense; I have also had almost the same kind of experience that you have had with that of a person dying as well.
But when that person overdosed on heroin with the intention of committing suicide and succeeded I automatically said to myself in my head while others were astonished in shock holding back tears and spewing them out moments later that his suicide made sense. That only life happens. Oh, what a sad thought..
I know I am a monster just like you. But all of this makes me very nervous frustrated and sad with myself. My question to you is.. How they hell do you go on living day to day? Because I ultimately want to kill myself even though I know that I am a monster too and it's not my fault? I am in no ways saying that you should be feeling the same as I am just making that clear.
I just really need some sort of motivation to keep keeping on with what is life because my basic instinct is survival. I think you are wonderful and honest!
Keep up the good work. Hi, You're gifted, and have a conscience. Never stop asking who you are. I think Introspection is what makes the difference between really bad sociopaths, and sociopaths who do what's practical for a long term.
I think there are types of sociopaths, and I think no psychologist can tell you that because they're told not to treat you or study you after they figure out you're a sociopath. If you want to learn about yourself, you can't rely on what the psychology books say. They're taught not to study you and they want us to go by their definition. For example, "compulsive lying". Sociopaths don't lie compulsively. Compulsive lying is what the weak manipulatees call it.
Some sociopaths may introspect. I for example, am an introvert, but sociopathic at heart. You sound at the very least to have tendancies, and you'll learn most from people who are different like you. A very small percentage, but easy to spot when you know yourself.
Embrace the sociopath in you. And as far as the trying not to hurt people. Not Karma wise, but good things come back to you.
If you try to hurt people, you make enemies and they attack you and that's dumb. So you're just an intelligent sociopath. There are guarentees in life. You don't have to worry about foul people because foul people are dumb I agree with you completely. I for example am a very cruel person when I need to be but I don't go out of my way to be cruel but rather act accordingly to the situation in a manner that would benefit me the most.
I believe that introspection is more common among us than we receive credit for. I hate to make cause-effect assertions on such little evidence, but it seems to me that there is a very direct correlation between high intelligence and issues with social adjustment. Can't imagine why that is Especially when you can't help but look through the illusory veil at every turn Ok, a few points I want to make before I'm fully derailed: I am not a compulsive liar.
I only lie when I need to, and I rarely enjoy it. It doesn't bother me too much, doing what I have to do to get by, as I've always done, but it's not like I get my kicks by manipulating people People are way too easy to deceive. I have no problem looking someone dead in the eye and lying to them. It absolutely crushed my ex to discover this, but to be fair, she shouldn't have tried to get me to stop smoking pot.
I love spending time alone in quiet reflection, just thinking In fact, I go out of my way to avoid hurting people though generally because I can't be arsed to deal with the fallout, but a lot of times it is because I actually care about the person and do not want to see them hurt. That being said, if you piss me off, I will destroy you. I will bite my tongue and swallow my pride until I receive just the right amount of provocation, and then all bets are off.
I rationalize my outburts with "Well, I gave you several opportunities to shut the fuck up and walk away, but you pushed the issue. If only they knew when to stop I'm not a violent person, nor do I ever see myself using physical violence as a means to an end mostly because of the legal ramifications , but that doesn't mean I can't rip you apart.
I'm extraordinarily talented at reading body language and non-verbal or tonal cues. I can look someone in the eyes and feel like I know every intimate detail about them. I see everything about you, even all that shit you bury deep so that no-one sees.
People who piss me off get to live in the lime-light for a while. I was diagnosed very early on in life with AsPD. I am not a compulsive liar either. I don't feel bad when I do lie, I just don't see a reason for it. There are other forms of manipulation other than lying.
I thought that part of what you said deserved a reply. My God you people are really really sick. Now i see why all the studies and conclusions have shown that when a normal human being, like myself, comes across one of you to get the hell out of the way fast and furious. If you want instant gratification, then you do the things that are supposedly typical of the sociopath. If you have a long term agenda however, you strategize, you act in a way that some might describe as Machiavellian.
Intelligence and pragmatism become key in that circumstance. Your description actually sounds more like Aspberger's than APD. The sociopath in my life never would've questioned the way you seem to be doing. He was misdiagnosed, which I'm learning is not uncommon, with Aspbergers. There are a lot of similarities in emotional comprehension. Look into that as an option for yourself as well. Either way, seek professional help Many patients with Aspberger's can barely distinguish between rage, fear, or sorrow in the facial expressions of their fellow human beings.
However, in order to pass for normal, a sociopath MUST understand these expressions- and be able to reproduce them when appropriate- in order to convince the rest of the world that they can feel emotions to the same extent as the rest of humanity does. I am worried sometimes that I am a sociopath. I have a very hard time getting in touch with real emotions - even as far as my wife and children are concerned.
It's like I intellectually know I love them but I don't really feel it. Of course, I wonder if that could be a side-effect of the severe depression I have suffered with my whole life it runs in the family. A coping mechanism to handle my depression has been not let myself feel very much, because that tended to set off a depressive episode - and perhaps I have internalized that mechanism so much it has affected my ability to feel.
I am very self-centered, but I wonder if it could be for the same reason. I have never been violent or cruel to animals. I was never a bed-wetter. On the other hand, I have been an insommniac for a very long time. My wife does not feel loved by me and I have trouble getting in touch with feelings of love for her. I show quite a bit of compassion, in particular, for the elderly.
I do tend towards the grandiose and sometimes make myself out to be more than I am. I tend to keep to myself and do things like watch television and read.
I have noticed out there that there is little to no compassion for people with sociopathic disorder. Do they not suffer?
Did they choose to be as they are? Why do other diseases get so much sympathy but this one, which really prevents you from living a full life, does not? Its because sociopaths actively study and attempt to understand human beings from a neutral perspective and are capable of seeing through them and that makes them feel vulnerable.
People lash out against things that make them afraid. You put that into words far better than I could have hoped to and I had been trying for a while. I get a lot of curious or wary looks I'm told I have very piercing eyes. I'm used to those. But it's the fear that throws me off. Every now and then, someone sees me for what I am, and I can read the fear etched all over their face like I read last night's dinner menu.
And it's equally delicious and satisfying. I found this an interesting article: I see the same thing in my counselor, I will tell her things that I know are socially unacceptable, like how sometimes I hate how useless some people are, and that I get so tired of acting to get what I want. And she will turn it around to be an acceptable and understandable behavior.
She is somewhat new to the field however. I really don't want sympathy, I don't really mind that people fear me, they are both aspects of emotions and judgement that I really don't agree with or understand.
To anonymous above's last statement regarding sympathy for the sociopath. I actually stumbled across this site because I have been looking for a source that is exactly that.
Lastnight I spent hours scanning the shelves of Borders looking for books on the subject and all I found was a book telling people to beware of the sociopath that may be in their life and how to spot them. The difference is you know what lies at the heart of your motivations and I think that makes for a much more fulfilling relationship for the other person whether they know it or not.
I personally, grew up only with my mother. While violence was one of her favorite persuasive techniques the manipulation I always found was much stronger. I watched how she always got what she wanted manipulating other people and for a long time succumbed when she used it on me i.
This is obviously very oversimplified, but think about it, one thing they always say about serial killers is how smart they were, how high their IQ was. I just made a new livejournal and haven't figured out how to use it yet, but I'll include my username here so maybe someone could comment in it?
Everyone is an individual! We don't all fit into the tight little box that the books state would should. It is because there is no one willing to take us seriously there is no real indepth literature on psychopathy from the point of view of one. There are high functioning sociopaths and there are low functioning sociopaths.
There are sociopaths who don't resemble the extreme negative behaviors of some sociopaths and there are some that do. If every sociopath was a negative one who lives in pure reckless abandon the streets would be lined in bodies and the world covered in blood.
How intelligent is it to place yourselves, happily i might add, in a category with the likes of people who have tortured innocent animals and other helpless humans? Sociopaths leave a trail of human wreckage in their wake, there is nothing good to be said for them. A couple of people seem to be on a 'data' or 'spock' trip You really are quite stupid.
You wouldn't know a sociopath if he hit you in the face and the pathetic thing is that instead of trying to learn you attempt to label all "bad" people as sociopaths. We don't all just magically carve a swathe of destruction out of spontaneity. Regardless of how we process information or interact with other people, we are still human beings.
You shouldn't confuse other people with your uneducated preconceptions. While I do disagree with stealthy ninja on the idea of a sociopath leaving bodies everywhere, I can agree that there are too many wannabes here. If you take advantage of someone you shouldnt give two shits about how they feel, even though it usually bites you in the butt later on.
It sucks when you lie blatantly and people still believe you, because it makes you feel like everyone really does deserve to be used. Screw it; they do deserve to be used. After all, their fault for being idiotic.
Just like any mental disorder everyone is different there are symptoms that help to identify them.. Quite some time has gone by, and though I still don't know if I'm a sociopath, it's much easier to accept my sociopathic tendencies. I don't care so much about manipulating or hurting people. In quite a few ways, I've gone back to my roots, before I started questioning anything. I still do what I can to stay out of trouble, but I don't deny myself happiness just because I can't get it the "normal" way.
I know I'll never be able to connect with anyone, so when I need intimacy, I make it happen, even if it means deception. I know that nobody would ever like me for the selfish and cold person I am deep down, so I culminate favor and cash in when I need it. Maybe this is Asperger's, and maybe it's sociopathy.
I don't really care any more, as long as I can make it work for me, and I've been seeing real-world results for months. Thanks to all of you for helping make that possible. This blog has been an invaluable resource in my search for understanding, for honing my techniques, and for steeling my resolve.
Hi, there seems to be a lot of misunderstanding going on here. Sociopaths are people who do not have a social conscious, they are individuals who specifically do not care about the impact their behavior has on other people. You are obviously not a sociopath, if you were one there is no current path for treatment available to you, because sociopaths do not believe there is anything wrong with them, and numerous case studies have shown that therapy does not work on sociopaths because they lie and manipulate to get through with it, or they learn from it new strategies to help them better disguise their selves.
Not only bad people do bad things. The fact that you are voluntarily seeking help is indeed evidence that you are not a sociopath. That's not the point. She doesn't care about society the thing is that even we cant don't care about society most of us recognize that society can be of use or amusement to us if we manipulate the naive people in it.
How naive can you get? I'm selfish and I know it and I don't give a fuck if my actions affect your life in a bad way as long as it doesn't consequences for me. Hell I might even do bad things to you intentionally if it benefited me enough. This isn't a plea for help, it's a quest for understanding.
Wanting to know more about yourself or to be able to put on what you're feeling or not feeling is a very human thing. And yes, sociopaths are human too. Also, this whole talk about 'bad things' makes me think of that song that goes, "I wanna do bad things to you. I see, I see it in you. It's laced in your words, like loose corn in turds, polluting them through and through. You sound mightily certain, and so absolute!
My word, you're really a hoot! But I must disagree, as these studies, you see, render your conclusions quite moot. Few sociopaths are helped, this is certainly true, but some certainly are, not certainly screwed.
Some even seek help of their own accord, to lessen the risk in their quest for reward. I hope you enjoyed my fun little skit, but if you didn't, you can eat my shit. I am more aggressive.. Don't forget, friends, there are a number of other anti-social personality disorders.
That being said, from a diagnosed sociopath and yes, that means I was a bed wetter, have tortured small animals, do like setting things on fire, lie when it serves my purposes and have an inability to connect with my closest family and friends on a deeper level , being introspective is not uncommon amongst sociopaths.
We're not unfeeling monsters, we have a limited ability to grasp why society holds moral standards which seem We also have a limited, at best, ability to have compassion for how our actions affect others. One of my best friends is constantly trying to get me to "look at it from the other person's viewpoint" when I've hurt someone.
Not all sociopaths are smart, but a lot are. I never questioned being a sociopath, but was diagnosed as one at This diagnosis has been confirmed by 2 other shrinks, one of which told me while he saw ground for the diagnosis, he refused to label me with it, because he'd no longer treat me if he did.
Being a sociopath is a lonely, misunderstood road. While I do my best to ignore the urges to do very anti-social things on a daily basis, I still want to and sometimes do. But often I feel as though I am simply going through the motions of being socially acceptable. But it's like a tease to my sociopathy. Sociopaths go through life being berated for who they are. Understand, please, that our distrust of people and dislike of society comes from years of rejection and being told we are bad.
We find it easier to hide what we are instead of be rejected one more time. We lie often times, not to hurt you, but to protect ourselves from your reaction. When we're found out, we don't understand why you'd want to know the truth. It shatters the illusion you lived in about us. Because all our lives, we've been told, "You're such a disappointment. Being a sociopath does not relieve of being human. I was raised by a sociopath mother, and my biological father was one as well. She'd lie and find your weakness, and break it open just for fun.
I pretty much fit that bill, there is a void inside of me, and I don't really feel. I've always been the smartest person I know, and the smartest person everyone I'v known has known. I have also always had a rage and drive to win and dominate for it's own sake, incredible greed and narcissism and thrill seeking.
I've lied and manipulated, and I can tell the others who are like me, I think most of us can tell one another. I'm trying to be a good person, like you it isn't some emotional drive, but a logical one. Not lying or conning people is hard, expecially when it works. I was always able to get people to do things. I don't want to be that person and I fight it every day. When I see someone with something I want, I try and say, that they deserve it. The world needs people like us, we don't buckle, we can choose the easy route, like a coward, and give in to what we want.
Or we can be strong, and moral, loyal friends. I do it by keeping a strict moral code, a set of rules, of them. My temptation it to lie and say I've kept them all. I've yet to get to that point. I like to think being a good person isn't what we are made of, but what we do with it. The first step is not pretending we are something else, maybe not saying we are sociopaths by that label, if you do good by people, they accept you are good.
It also helps when people know, because they can say, that isn't right or what ever. That is another problem about us, when we fool people, unlike normal people, we will never be told our faults, because we will never show them. I suppose for the sake of "fulfillment"? Or to aspire to an emotional and moral state similar to that of a "neuro-typical" person, perhaps?
I can understand questioning the reason for going through all that trouble to appear "normal". To be honest, for me as well it seems to be a pointless endeavor to met the requirements of neuro-typical individuals. It's incredible to see what people have written on this site. For the longest time I have felt like I was set apart from people- smarter in a sense. It's like I instantly can see right through people and go through the motions of "caring" just so I can have a place in this world.
I'm not really sure what i'm even trying to say. I'm honestly speechless at the fact that I found this site and found so many people that have been thinking the same way I do. I have been trying to make sense of myself for so long and just thought i was going insane. I guess I am? I am pretty sucessfull. I use others to get to where i am or want to be.
Does that make me a sociopath? No,it makes me a capitalist. It makes me a product of society. Do i feel sorry for those i have "used"? Would i like people feeling pity for me?
Well,thanks for letting me see what the fuss is all about. If it makes you feel better,i pity you all. This site is really not a good example for sociopathy. You should rather visit psychforums. This comment has been removed by the author. I see a lot of Borderlines too, like the original poster. Just grow a pair already, flex nuts and live your life! What a miserable existence! Always questioning and doubting yourself because of how other ppl may percieve you!
You think those same ppl who you're worried about hurting give a shit about you?? The sad reality is that nobody cares! Sorry, but it's true. Live your life by YOUR standards and quit crying already!! True enough bu the thing is I'm bored so i'll "care" temporarily of course until I find another something that amuses me even more. Have you ever read it?
I know you would get extreme enjoyment out of the series. Saying that to be introspective means your not a sociopath is like saying thinking you're crazy means you can't be. Alot of so-called "crazy" people, that is people with mental disorders are well aware of it. Here's how introspection works for the sociopath. Understandig yourself means that you can understand the motivations,and weaknesses of others, which in turn makes it easier to mimic them or manipulate them. An introspective sociopath is a successful one.
The father that was described in one of the posts sounds like a psycopath. That is a person who is like a sociopath but more prone to cruelty and criminal behaviour. Alot of successful people are socio and psychopaths. Being ruthless advances many careers. You don't want to be a sociopath? Sorry can't help with that. But you can turn that "weakness" into a strength and "decide" to use it for good, sucess ect It's all about choices. No one will know, so what really is the difference?
Comment posters, some of you are clueless. You make blanket generalizations, and say 'no, you can't be a sociopath--if you were, you wouldn't understand yourself so well. There is a continuum of mentally unwellness. This person is just at the higher end of things--able to see himself, but still unwilling to change. People seem to think that in no case can a psychopath be aware. These wannabes are as terrible as those ridiculous "goths" who dress in black and pretend to be edgy.
I'm glad i'm not like the masses and idiots who live ther life doubting every decision, thinking about things like right or wrong. Screw that, live your life like you feel like living it, no one is a saint. I never really considered it I used to kill wasps when I was young. When I was 18 I caught a hedgehog in my garden, stabbed it right through and poured boiling water over it, hahaha lol.
So I stabbed it again It was squealing for like an hour. When I saw its little face it almost looked human. I used to get angry and kick my dogs. I really like them though. When I was 19 I was put into a mental hospital for telling a girl I was going to kill her.
She pissed me off. I was never diagnosed though. Past 5 years I've been studying law at one of the top universities in the world. It was only meant to take 3.
But I just disappeared for two of them and did drugs and fucked prostitutes. I've bled my parents dry. I get probably 1k dollars per week from my parents. I've spent it all on drugs and alcohol. I only just got internet cause I'm bored. I've been caught drink driving a few times I had a job for a few months but I just left randomly during the day without telling anyone.
Lost that, my dad got me that job so he looks like a retard now lol. I don't have any real friendships. I cut everyone out when an important social circle dies.
I've never been able to maintain a friendship. But I would never consider myself a sociopath because I can get very angry about girls. When I know they like me I assume they are 'mine' and if they do otherwise I rage, sometimes for months. I can be quite obsessive. I think I'm just fucked up Yeah sure you're fucked up alright but why should I give a shit if you're fucked up or not? Animal abuse guy is clearly fuck and should kill himself. Lol'd at the replies.
But seriously, someone stab and pour boiling water on that guy. I feel more empathy for animals than for humans.
I would love for you to cross my path. I could care less what you've done or who you are, from what I've read your just a wanna be punkass faker psychofuck.
Id suggest knot tying but you'd most likely fail at that. Id personally would enjoy watching you drink a bottle of draino. The art is blending in not sticking out.
Anonymous, Yes, you are a sociopath. Being a sociopath does not mean that you don't feel any emotions, it means that you don't feel any emotions that are not your own. For example, when you look at a person who has a painful cut, most people would cringe almost as though they feel the other person's pain, this makes it very hard for normals to hurt other people especially weaker ones, because by doing so they share the pain.
The fact that you could injure an animal and listen to it squeal for hours shows that you do not share pain. You are capable of feeling your own emotions, especially rage and jealousy towards women, and the fact that you can't understand or feel why they would dare to leave you actually fuels your anger and obsession.
Well I don't know about that. It sounds like he could be closer to being a psychopath rather then a sociopath. For the piece of crap that tortured an animal: Don't think it can't happen to you. It's called karma, paybacks, what goes around comes around, maybe even Hell.
It takes a serious lack of intelligence not to see that bad things do, in fact, happen to bad people. As for all the feeling people you call "sheep", figuring that empathy means you will allow yourself to be exploited: Got news for you: We have big hearts, but we're not suckers.
It's called being a real human being. Nah you're a sheep because you'l get exploited even if you allow it or not. Sounds like a permanent state of depersonalization rather than sociopathy. In fact, all that you wrote was pretty far from sociopathy. A sociopath doesn't give a damn if someone gets hurt. Nor would he question himself and dwell wondering "Am I a sociopath? Now, as for lack of empathy, or lack of ability to relate to someone else's pain I think you'd make an excellent doctor or a surgeon, seeing that nothing would make your stomach churn.
Some people are killing machines, but not that many are healing machines. Or maybe there are more than a few. I have a theory that a lot of doctors are "sociopaths", or emotionally detached from everything, but that's another story.
The thing about the question: Am I a sociopath? The instant people learn about mental illnesses, they start thinking that they may have it. The usual answer is no. Sociopaths are not JUST emotionless and have fun tearing people apart.
They're adaptable, smart, skilled and highly apt at socializing though they hate it. People use 'sociopath' as a synonym for 'evil' or 'cruel. If you feel a "void" or are "empty," stop thinking about it. No, it's not depression or mental illness, it's you being a human being, get over it. Find yourself a hobby or a good partner and you'll start enjoying life more.
I find it more entertaining than television to read about all these people who are kept up late at night asking themselves, "Could I be a sociopath?!?! The need to draw attention to oneself through whatever means necessary, even illnesses one doesn't have.
I do bad things!! I've pleasantly lost hours of sleep doing that. Figuring out how to cut corners and get out of the latest scrape I've found myself in? Anonymous who posted about there not being treatment options for sociopaths, pull your head out of the ASS of psychology. There are therapists who specialize in rehabilitating people with ASPD.
And further, there are sociopaths who desire treatment yes they are rare, they do exist however. Now getting them to PAY their therapist That's a whole other story. Being a sociopath isn't as simple, as it's been brought out by actual sociopaths on here, as saying "I feel empty and without much emotion. I am in therapy, because I got sick of wanting to eat my roommate's ice cream because he put it on my shelf and it serves the fucker right for invading my space and being that stupid, as one very small example.
Mostly though, I got to the point where the pseudo-legal business ventures I was exploiting to make money just weren't enough. When I didn't feel like a client kept their end of an agreement, I felt they needed to be punished for it. I realized it would be an easy transition a very logical, rational and linear one in my mind to make them pay on a deeper level.
Whether that be through breaking their kneecaps or hitting their pocketbook in a less than desirable way. I don't desire to spend my life in prison. And I am more than a little sick of trying to convince the empaths around me I experience life like they do. And unless I at least try to find another way, that's where I'll be, because I really dig fucking people over for a profit.
I wonder about people on here who talk of being raised by "sociopaths. Children are a burden. They take, take, take. Sociopaths don't give unless there is a payoff.
And being seen as a good parent isn't usually enough of a payoff. Sociopaths give up at one point or another and walk away. The children of ACTUAL sociopaths I know, including my own child, have the opportunity to spend time with their parents when it's convenient for us. And other than that, we're too busy to be bothered.
What we want IS the most important thing, and raising a needy child takes away from that. So just because your parent is self-centered, controlling, hostile, abusive or manipulative, it doesn't mean you can call them a sociopath. My father beat the hell outta me and my mom allowed it. But my parents aren't sociopaths. Just screwed up people. My son got in way of me living the life I wanted to live, so he lives with my parents.
He's part of the reason I'm in therapy, too. For once in my life I realized someone didn't deserve what I did to them. So for all of you who worry your pretty little heads about being sociopaths and actually want to be one, research Histrionic personality disorder.
You most like have that. I recall belief of a terrible illness being a hallmark of that disorder as well. You don't want to be a sociopath. We don't do a lot of introspection because it brings pain and shame, emotions we like least of all. It's easier just not to feel them. Why should feel I ashamed of anything? Honestly, you just summed up everything the OP was going through.
Pain and shame during introspection. The only difference between you and him is his willingness to endure it. That's the narcissist's game, and it's why they shy away from introspection and live in a fairy tale land where everyone deserves what they do to them. Sounds like you, doesn't it? And leave it to a narcissist to start talking out of their ass before they've thought anything through. You nonchalantly equate a sufferer's fear of symptoms they don't understand with attention seeking behavior or a delusional state of mind.
If you wouldn't mind, please tell me how that adds up. Logic should be cold, hard, and indisputable, like steel. Yours seems a bit mushy and full of holes, like swiss cheese.
All that's needed to unravel your entire line of thought is one basic assumption: Wildchildgirly,the fact you are in therapy because you are aware your son doesn't deserve how you've treated him says you are not a sociopath.
It expresses guilt or remorse. If you were truly a sociopath you would not be effected or even think of what you are doing to your son. Sociopaths don't focus at all on the past. They just move ahead to the future without looking back at what they've done. You have contradicted yourself. Anonymous, I must say I people who don't think sociopaths capable of being rehabilitated make me laugh. Thank you for your feedback, though. I proves to me the therapy I'm going through is effective.
I never got shit for being too "introspective" in my posts until recently. I've found a huge difference in how I interact with people now and I'm not even finished with the therapeutic process yet.
And frankly, I don't really care if you think it's possible for a sociopath to be rehabilitated and no longer be a sociopath, because I know what I've experienced. But, I don't see much point in wasting much more of my time on someone who posts anonymously. Besides, I haven't seen your credentials.
And my therapist has never suggested for a moment that it's an incorrect diagnosis. The only time he's said I'm full of shit is when I've tried to run a scam on him. You are kind of getting boring Wildchild Ooo hey there's a new guy here and he thinks sociopathy is a super power?
Well now that is something im going to take a closer look at. Excuse me, I fit nearly every description of a sociopath apparently. And after reading this, I can picture it only making the condition worse. This site gives power to me, saying things like, "You can never spot a sociopath.. What happens when two of these people meet and create a bond? Also, I'd like to add that I do have an incredibly high IQ, I abuse drugs, but I would never harm an animal or rape anyone.
I don't find the thought of it disturbing, however. This seems almost like a super-power, I now wonder, Can this be used in a way that is beneficial to everyone involved? This is really only my first day focusing on this topic, and I'll admit now that I don't know all there is to know about it.
I'm here because I have slight doubt I am a sociopath but all signs point to it and I can't go see a therapist everytime I'm with one I start lying to the fuck out of a story and that makes unclear diagnosis.
Iamges: how to tell if i am dating a sociopath
He be beside himself, I mean literally done with me. He dogged and manipulated her for years, but they looked like the perfectcouple online.
He said he loved me but he had to do this for his freedom.
Just to clarify, I'm not a sociopath. Without those people in his life worshiping and reassuring him, he would crumble. If you having similar problem, Contact him now Dr. It's logical to treat others in society with a certain measure of care and respect in order to keep the social order functioning. A 4 language, high IQ, 3 higher educations including 6 years of Psycology!! You are brave and strong.
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