The Original Sober Dating Site

Girlfriend of Bill: 12 Things You Need to Know about Dating Someone in Recovery

dating site for recovering alcoholics

As the Big Book explains it, a personal inventory works much like a business inventory, similar to when a store owner sorts through his or her goods to see which are salable, which are damaged, and which have to be thrown out. A Man, 25 Tacoma, Washington. A 'Kwink' is the specific trait that defines you. Nagy offers twelve key points that you need to know about dating a person in recovery. She wrote this, her first book, based on her own dating experience and love of the Twelve Steps. A Woman, 33 Tucson, Arizona.

Date a Someone Like Yourself

Now I've discovered that these "relationship" Steps are a balanced, healthy way even for non-PIRs to examine their own selves and their relationships with others. Medical and Professional Education Psychology Internships. It is obviously very important, therefore, for PIRs to identify and release their resentments in a constructive way. Join the Recovering Alcoholic dating community to meet other recovering alcoholics and share your photos and your successes with other singles. She also helps you identify the warning signs of developing your own codependent tendencies by playing into your partner's addictive thinking and behavior--and what to do about them. There is no right or wrong way to do this Step, and those who work it don't stop to try to figure out why they did what they did--they merely make a list in whatever way works best for them, trying to be as "searching and fearless" as they can be. Our mission is to unite you with a dating community sharing your kwink.

Paul said that the more thorough the list, the better, in order to make sure the PIR deals with any smoldering resentments or other thoughts and feelings that might creep out later in an unhealthy way.

The moral inventory in Step Four gives PIRs a practical tool for honestly and courageously facing how their addictive actions may have hurt others and harmed themselves in the process. There is no right or wrong way to do this Step, and those who work it don't stop to try to figure out why they did what they did--they merely make a list in whatever way works best for them, trying to be as "searching and fearless" as they can be.

After listing their resentments, many PIRs include in their lists the other categories suggested in the Big Book:. This last category of sexual harms is not limited to actual physical harms like infecting someone with a sexually transmitted disease, or having sex with someone against their will.

This category also gets the PIR thinking about how they were inconsiderate with their partner, how they might have been jealous or suspicious, or how they might have cheated on their partner. Paul told me that, for him, the easiest part was to remember and list all the people he had harmed. It was harder for him to admit the sexual harms he'd done and the people he'd used when he was still drinking.

But he said he needed to face those things if he ever hoped to have a healthy relationship--sexual and otherwise--in the future. When people work Step Four, they begin to realize that in order to stay clean and sober, they need to handle all their feelings--the good, the bad, and the ugly ones--in a healthy and safe way rather than covering them up with mood-altering chemicals or addictive behaviors. Many PIRs who have numbed their feelings for so long start to actually feel again.

Others might become ready to face past traumas such as sexual, physical, or emotional abuse, and they might realize they need professional help to deal with painful and upsetting memories. If you sense or know this is the case with your PIR, it's good to give them some space and lots of tender support and encouragement, remembering that you can't be their therapist, but you can be their friend.

Excerpted from Girlfriend of Bill: Nagy is a college professor, actor, and songwriter. She wrote this, her first book, based on her own dating experience and love of the Twelve Steps.

Being in a new relationship is hard enough, but if the person you're dating is a recovering alcoholic or addict, there may be more to consider than just mutual interests and attraction.

For Karen Nagy, dating a recovering alcoholic felt, in some ways, as if she were seeing someone "from another planet"--with his own language, culture, and social behaviors. With humor, compassion, and a great respect for what it takes to recover from an addiction, this first-of-its-kind field guide offers an "inside scoop" on what people do in Twelve Step meetings, why they need a sponsor, what is a sponsor, and why phrases like "Let go and let God" and "Easy does it" keep creeping into your conversations.

Nagy offers twelve key points that you need to know about dating a person in recovery. She also helps you identify the warning signs of developing your own codependent tendencies by playing into your partner's addictive thinking and behavior--and what to do about them.

By gaining a greater understanding of your companion's recovery program, you can help him or her stay sober, learn how to deal with character flaws, and also build your own confidence in the potential for a healthy, successful relationship. Medical and Professional Education Psychology Internships.

The Butler Center for Research Addiction research library. The Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation provides hope and healing to people affected by substance abuse. We are a national provider of addiction treatment services with licensed drug rehabilitation centers in Minnesota, Oregon, California, Florida, Illinois and New York. We invite you to call to speak confidentially with a caring member of our team. A Man, 47 Houston, Texas.

A Woman, 33 Tucson, Arizona. A Woman, 46 Austin, Texas. A Man, 33 Olympia, Washington. A Man, 48 Forest Park, Illinois. A Man, 25 Tacoma, Washington. A Man, 46 Kansas City, Missouri. A Man, 41 Belfast, Northern Ireland. A Man, 32 Golden, Colorado. A Man, 41 Fairfax, Virginia. A Man, 27 Austin, Texas. A Man, 22 Houston, Texas. A Woman, 50 Austin, Texas. A Man, 34 Henrico, Virginia. A 'Kwink' is the specific trait that defines you. It may be a passion, life style, deviation, or affliction. Our mission is to unite you with a dating community sharing your kwink.

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dating site for recovering alcoholics

A Man, 34 Saint Petersburg, Florida. Because of this, some PIRs may have developed trust, intimacy, or abandonment issues.

dating site for recovering alcoholics

As a result, they might view dysfunctional relationships as normal and seek out these types of unhealthy relationships in their new sober life, unless they are made aware of what they are doing and work diligently to release and heal their past. He found it very difficult to try to re-integrate into society after completing drug and alcohol rehab.

dating site for recovering alcoholics

Excerpted from Girlfriend of Bill: But the Steps are especially useful if you are dating a PIR, because the skills you learn from the Steps may be helpful dating site for recovering alcoholics your relationship. The need they have for an app like this is very real. Join the Recovering Alcoholic dating community to meet other recovering alcoholics and share your photos and your successes with other singles. Finding someone to date who not only understands how important your sobriety is to you but also understands the struggle itself, can be extremely challenging. For Karen Nagy, dating a recovering dating site for recovering alcoholics felt, in some ways, as if she were seeing someone "from another planet"--with his own language, culture, and social behaviors.