Getting engaged before moving in is the key to lasting harmony
Then he got laid off in a restructuring. We were the lucky ones. Thank you very much.
An Update About This Post:
This is how I was raised. Another guy commented asking a similar question above you, I think his name was Bret. Which I now realize may not actually be the case. Meanwhile, start networking and sending out resumes. Is there an easy way to remove the pump after your session?
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It sounds like you are using the hercules or the goliath because they dont have the newer comfort pads the hydromax series models do…? Respond and let me know which model you have and I will give you some tips to stop that — although my response below will likely remedy this as well. The minute mark and your balls getting sucked into the tube, I know what you are talking about.
It happens when you leave the pressure on for the full duration, especially when you add more suction mid pump. I have the solution for this- Pumping Sleeves. They are like 5 bucks on amazon, and they prevent your scrotum from being sucked in, and it will GREATLY increase the pump you get on your penis shaft and head.
Thanks again for sharing that I helped you decide which one is best. You can also register on the forum I started, trying to get some smart people on there. To answer your question, I actually have the Hydromax x And yes the comfort pad does help a lot with preventing the suction pain.
However, I was reading the instruction information last night and I was thinking that since I am using the bathmate outside of the shower setting, that I fall under the category of air-use even though I fill my bathmate with water when I use it. Do you think it is worth using a water-based lubricant to help with the suction pain even though the bathmate is filled with water when I am using it?
If so, are there any particular brands of lubricant that you have tried or recommend? I know that the bathmate website sells its own water-based lubricant, but I was wondering if other water-based lubricant brands like KY work just as well mostly because I can just buy it at a local store rather than place more online orders. Best case it solves your issue. I think the best solution would be the pumping sleeves though.
As for recommended lubricants, man you gotta try Pjur Lubricants. They rub into your skin, and leave it moist all day. That or virgin coconut oil which works almost as good as pjur, and is super cheap. It looks and feels solid until you rub it into your hands, and then it turns totally liquid. Great for massages too, not sticky, wont dry out while you use it, and wipes right off. Infact- Try the coconut oil first.
Here is the stuff I bought from amazon, trust me it works awesome. Hope that helps man, and not a problem at all. Hey man I was wondering how long did it take for u to see results with an extender.
I use my pump and stretch daily as well as use the extender, so I saw a gain in length in the first 30 days. I also wear mine for 8 hours a day, which is the minimum i recommend to get long term results. I treat it like a gym workout and go hard at it. For you, if you are going for the bathmate you need the X Penomet is good too though, check out my review of that too.
Hey John — I contacted Bathmate about the discount and was told they have discontinued all discount coupons. We have decided to keep the minimum price at RRP and our current vouchers took the price below this. If you want a bathmate, but wanna save the extra cash you can always pickup the hercules.
I just got a bathmate but i dont c no difference in size how long dose it take to c a difference in size. You gotta make sure you order from an authorized retailer, the counterfeits are garbage. I know, I bought one thinking it was an awesome deal.
One 15 minute pumping session with hot water will expand and relax your penis. For girt and length GAINS, meaning increase in size, it takes a week or two for the results to become visible.
The key to enlarging your penis with any pump, extender, or exercise is consistency. Keep pumping everyday, twice a day if you have the time. Is that the max you can expand to or the max starting size? Hey Tom, the girth listed is measured across from the top not around the penis. The image showing the size guide, that shows what starting size penis works with which model bathmate. As for the actual maximum sizes-. I recommend the bathmate x40 or the Penomet based on your starting size.
I am on the smaller side. I would be completely fine with 7 in. I am looking for the most sufficient one with my size and goal. Hey Bret- My starting goal was length too. I started out about your size and now I am 6.
You can see my before and after pictures from using it on this page. The penomet premium or bathmate x30 is my second recommendation based on your starting size and goal. I always say with Penomet, go premium or go Bathamte. They are both great pumps, if you decide to go with the pump make sure you do also throw in some penis stretching exercises!
Hi, im about 5. Im new to all this but im willing to go all out. I want to try and gain as much length and girth as i can and im wondering if you could help me with what products and exercises i should do. You have the right attitude, if you are going to enlarge your penis you just gotta commit to it, stick to a routine for 6 months — and be consistent. These tools like SizeGenetics, Bathmate, Penomet- they work if you work them.
Jelqing and Stretching is enough to get a little bit of enlargement. Another guy commented asking a similar question above you, I think his name was Bret. You guys are both the same size as I was starting out, check out his question and my reply there too. I am planning on starting a forum so people have a place to stay motivated and share their progress.
Thanks for replying so fast, im studying this site as much as i can before i buy anything. Took me a while to find information like this so im happy i finally found this. In about a month i should have enough for the genetics extender and i will be doing the exercises.
I will document it all so you can post it up. Id like to get the penomet at the same time but im not making as much as i used to. But i will be getting that as soon as i get enough for it. One more thing, i was reading about some of the pills, do you think its necessary to take the pills if im doing the extender, pump and exercises?
Hey Jeremy- All the bathmate hydro pumps perform the same function, the different models are just for different sized penises. If you are starting at 6inches based on your other comment I assume you are , you should pickup the x40 or the Penomet coupled with some penis stretching exercises like the v stretch for more length.
What you want is completely possible man, I went from 5. I wanted to ask since im a little over 6 inches say 6. Hey Joseph- Bathmate does help with erection strength, and you can use a cock ring with it if you want to use it to give you an erection for penetration.
For your size you should pickup the x The Bathmate is awesome, it does work but primarily on penis girth. For length gains you should try some of the stretching exercises I shared. I am adding more this week, a couple ones I used myself that helped me a lot.
To enlarge your penis head you want to check out Jelqing , it will enlarge your penis head a lot. I recommend doing both to almost everyone- the stretching exercises and using bathmate. Since you said you are worried about the money though, you should just start out with the manual exercises. Hope that helps bro- Any other questions I am here to give you my honest opinion. Only order from the an official store. They are a popular brand, and some companies are making knockoff products that are total pieces of crap.
Theis is their website , they are the real deal. Which one are you thinking of buying? Took me about 6 months. I use the bathmate for girth and length but nothing beats a penis extender when it comes to almost guaranteed length increases. I believe it is possible to get the same gains I did using manual exercises, and a pump but I imagine it would take a LOT longer since I wear my extender 6 hours a day. Hope that helps man Josh. Im almost always online if you wanna ask me anything.
Sounds good to me man! I wore the extender for hours everyday and I have gained over an inch. All the bathmate models improve the size the same. You just gotta choose which bathmate fits your starting penis size. I recommend the Goliath for you based on your size. That or pickup the Penomet — about the same size as the Goliath but its upgradable and, in my opinion, better. Hey Greg, I had one testicle slip in to the pump and seem to get a bit of discomfort now and then. I was unsure about putting balls in on purpose but getting one ball in has turned me off doing that for sure!
So back to my pains, what could this e caused by? Rick- Bathmate is not a ball pump, and if one slips in I know first hand that shit hurts like hell. If the pump is large girth wise, try using pumping sleeves. I have a tutorial on the top left of this bathmate page- it will ensure your balls dont get sucked in. Thanks so much for the very useful information. I am waiting to receive my bathmate, and was doing some research to know what to expect.
Your info is fantastic since your starting info is similar to where I am now. My fingers are crossed I will see similar results as you have had. It looks like you have used multiple systems.
Is the gains that you have due to only the Bathmate? Did you notice a minimum flaccid length increase as well? I tend to vary greatly here, but my minimum flaccid length can at times be small which I was hoping would be mitigated. When I bought sizegenetics all I saw online were a ton of one page spammy websites with no real person behind them. So it feels good to know I am helping, especially when guys comment and specifically say thanks.
I get it more now too, haha. Bathmate is responsible for my girth increase, currently 1cm of permanent gains. SizeGenetics is responsible for almost all of my length gains, but it adds absolutely zero girth. Pumping will increase your length gains as well, just to clarify. For you, since you want to work on the length- I recommend throwing in some penis stretches or v-stretches before and after pumping. You will notice an immediate difference, and long term I am confident you will improve your flaccid hang.
Thanks again for the compliment dude, anything else you can ask me I am online all the time! Good information to have. My bathmate came today, so I took the requisite before shots of hard and flaccid so I can compare to later shots and gave it a go. I am going to try starting slowly. I did have one more question. I have read about some people having discoloration. I wanted to check to see if you have experienced this. I am not a fan of the idea that my penis may become darkened irreparably — hence my thinking that going slowly at first is a good idea.
Hey Steve — Thats exactly how you avoid the discoloration. Go slow at first, and take breaks between pumping sessions. You have the exact right idea. Discoloration happens from keeping the pump on for to long, not allowing fresh blood to enter the penis. Kegel while pumping too, it helps strengthen your erections and pushes more blood into your penis.
Hi Greg im under size 3 and currently using x4 labs mini and want to use a bathmate simultaneously. Its cheaper, and a little smaller than the other sizes. Hope that helps man! Is it okay to use the goliath immediately? My target is 7 inches. How long should that take for me?
The Goliath wont give you faster results, its just geared for guys of a certain size. You want to get a pump thats reasonable, not too large. I recommend the x30 or x40 for you man. Why the hurry to get the largest? It is def worth the investment, Bathmate has a long track record of success.
Which model are you considering buying? I recently bought the x30 as I am 6 L and 5. Was this the right choice? Also do you fill the entire unit up with water? I also found when pumping it puts pressure on my testicles. I try to pull them down and out of the way as much as possible.
Is there an easy way to remove the pump after your session? Congrats on getting one, how do you like it? The x30 should give you room for an inch of gain, but I would have gone with the x40 personally.
X40 would give you 2. The girth is good on any of the pumps, filling that up girth wise means you have a huge dick. Fill the whole thing up with warm-hot water, and put it on.
Press the release valve to let air in and release the vacuum. Ok, I have a hard time believing the questions on this forum. These dicks are massive. I reckon they are fake posts to make normal guys feel small. Either that or they are measuring wrong or just making stuff up. Haha dude I started at 5. But hey we all have our own insecurities and goals. I tried using the x30 a few times but have difficulty either keeping all the water in or achieving max pressure.
If in the bathtub its basically the same thing man, just dunk it and put it on. Did you shave your pubes off? I know that sounds dumb, but sometimes you have to at least trim the pubes down so you have skin contact, which creates that strong suction. Also when you are pumping, are you having any air leak in from the top valve? So far it was mentioned like e. Yes, once that rush is over comes the Grind. Or the order in which they wash dishes.
Congrats on getting there. The gushy feelings at the beginning can be attributed mostly to dopamine. Many drugs cause a surge of dopamine, which is why many people abuse drugs. Oxytocin is a hormone released during intimacy. Breast feeding, hugging, kissing, sexual stimulation, etc.
Beautiful article, and honest. We can easily mistake its intesity for love. When we were younger, we see life and love through inexperienced lenses. As we grow older, we understand love is so much more than fiery exciting or even passionate emotions. Oh wow, this is beautiful!
Oh, and Happy New Year. First of all, it is so refreshing to hear this in a very real, human way. I know this is standard Jewish philosophy, but I just kind of am sick of hearing it from other places.
Secondly, I could it be that this is the same in our relationship with Hashem? Specifically, falling in love with Yiddishkeit? Man says he didn't love his wife when they got married. And I also agree about it being a perfect metaphor for our relationship with G-d. Hasidic Jews believe the world is essentially one big metaphor, and each reality in the physical world can help us understand our spiritual lives.
And one of the best analogies for our relationship with G-d is our relationship with our spouses. I also want to say it makes me so happy to see how this post has brought out such positive connections between Jews, Christians, and Muslims.
This is seriously one of my dreams come true for this blog. So thank you again for sharing your thoughts and the fact that others in your community enjoy the post as well. Is it not sufficient in regard to your Lord that He is a Witness over all things? This has lead Muslims to adopt the same principle: In the same way, Muslims use other points in life as signs. In fact, my favorite Muslim scholars are those who can look at anything and extract a religiously beneficial lesson from it.
Kings have locked their doors and each lover is alone with his love. Our religions are so similar and have many common beliefs at the core. Hopefully one day we can all get along as well as we used to! We also have a core belief that the whole world will one day see God as the truth, and we also see marriage as a practical parable for our relationship with God.
When It's Impossible Pop Chassid. Absolutely Loved reading this. I must admit I fall in love with my husband more with each passing day! I whole-heartedly disagree, love is fruition, like fruit its sought and attained and it grows.. I had responded to this earlier with a much more thorough response… but somehow it is not here..
In my opinion, any love story can become a fairy tale story depending on how you treat it. Every fairy tale love story has a struggle, involves sacrifice, involves making a decision.
You missed a huge opportunity to have an experience of true love with the last 20 dollars in the bank account situation. That was there for you to capitalize on and make her see you as a super hero.
You could have done a fun cheap date idea, made her something or any number of different ideas. In stead of doing nothing I acted. One day at school I stopped in the book store and bought some yarn for about 50 cents, watched a you tube video on how to make cool string bracelets, and gave her them that night.
Its still on her wrist even years later and even though she has other, much nicer jewelry now, she still loves that one well whats left of the thing haha the most. As you commit to her and your self to do that, it will amaze you how much love you will find.
Divorce is because people love them selves more than others around them. Selfishness and laziness causes divorce. If you forget yourself there is very little that can end a marriage if both people act in true charity for one another.
So, I respectfully say that you really need to rewatch some Disney movies and look at how hard they tried to get to the fairy tale ending. Just making a point. I totally agree with this! The examples you gave are examples of giving, examples of doing something for the other person and not just doing things for ourselves. It looks like you did the same thing. If you grow apart, if one of the pair feels trapped, then no amount of charity will bring the two back together in fact, it could make one even more resentful of the other.
This is why no one should get married without seriously considering the consequences, sacrifices, and pros and cons of marriage. They were pregnant and wanted to do the right thing by their daughter. We met just over a year after she left him, and we have been married for 2 years now.
We dated for about 6 months before we got engaged, and waiting another 9 months before we got married. We knew we were sure and we knew we were making a commitment that there was no backing out of. Love is certainly misconstrued. Thanks for your insight. Check my blog out when you have a chance. Adventures of Curly Sue Infatuation is a lovely, fun thing. It burns out fast, like tinder.
That was the point of the last paragraph. It might have struck a chord with you based on your personal experiences which is quite a normal response. Respectfully, your response kind of exudes the sort of smug self-satisfaction that I found a bit off-putting at the end of the article. Plenty of other people were already praising the article for the same reasons I would have. I responded to your response because I did not agree with your opinion with about the author.
You stated negative assumptions about his character based on what you perceived to be the point of the last paragraph and I simply reiterated what he wrote in an attempt to expose the originally stated point. Furthermore, since I do not know you I would be amiss to assume anything specific to your personal experience.
To explain this generalization further, I believe that we are shaped by our environment and that in turn alters our perception of the world. Hence your reaction to the end of the article, which was contrary to what the author actually stated. Still, I am open to understanding that you do not uphold the same belief. Please rest assured that I do not know you and this is not a personal attack per se.
It is also not an attempt to debase, belittle or patronize you. Just an open sharing of opinions. I am sure that there will be some who agree with you and others me, that is the beauty of humanity. I hope that we can both learn and become even better individuals from this discourse. I wholeheartedly agree with this take except for two points.
One is in the instance where you give of yourself fully and completely and there is no reciprocation. Should it be enough for someone to feel love in return for your giving but not give in return? Also, this article minimizes the fact that there is also a WHY you would want to give love to someone in the way the author describes.
That comes from that burning desire he so readily dismisses. You have to have some passion for a person to want to give of yourself selflessly to them, right? I have a vision where Jews, Christians and Muslims come together to help promote such values in a society that is transgressing on its morals and values. Whether this be by an academic institution or by the media, we need to create more art that represent these values.
As a Muslim I find this article superb as this goes exactly in line with my philosophy. Love constantly grows, as the two go through each phase of marriage if you marry early, especially. This is why research shows that a marriage that had no sort of physical intimacy has a much higher chance of standing through the tests of marriage than ones that do not.
I hope that such profound and true beliefs find itself in the mainstream world soon before we hit a crisis. This is so very true. My husband and I have been married almost 29 years. After reading this article, it really gave us perspective. We were married within 2 months of dating dumb, I know , but we both thought we knew what we wanted the ideal list. The only problem is life happens and the fire does go out. Thank you for sharing this. We are working on finding a new love, one of mutual prespect.
Not dumb at all. You had faith in your love for one another. You went with it. Inspiration What's up WordPress. I love my wife in more and better ways every day, so I believe you.
I feel that more and more people are living together before marriage, having long engagements. My husband and I found love in our little, normal life long before we got married. Just wanted to rep the living-together-before-the-wedding folks! And by the way, I think that applies to things beyond romantic relationships as well. Such as friendships, leadership, etc.
I agree with this article in some ways, but disagree in others. Yes, sometimes people do lose that feeling fire after marriage, and yes, sometimes that fire is nothing more than an emotion, but love is different for every single person on this earth. There are two types of love: Compassionate love is the love he describes above; Deeper understanding and appreciation for one another. Passionate love is the love we all feel in the beginning, that fire that burns and burns and makes us feel alive.
Some people lose that passionate love after marriage or even before when they start to become comfortable around their significant other. However, there are people who never love any differently, even after 5, 10, 20 years of marriage. I have been with my Fiance for 6 years this November, to me that is pretty long. I felt that fire in my heart the day i saw him, the first time he kissed me, first time he held my hand, and so on. And even though the fire died down after the first few years…its still there.
Smoldering slowly deep within my soul. Sometimes it ignites when he kisses me, when he grabs my hand, and when he looks at me and without saying a word tells me he loves me. If that fire is still there after 6 years of being in a relationship, i have no reason to assume that it will suddenly end when we are married. Every marriage, relationship, every person on this earth loves, feels, and perceives things differently.
My fiance and I are undoubtedly in a passionate relationship. Maybe along the way, down the road, that passion will die down and turn into compassionate love. But that fire, the one that started the moment we locked eyes on our first date, that fire will still me smoldering in the depths of our hearts. My husband and I began dating when I was 17 and he was 19, and we dated for five years before we were married just five weeks ago!
We said that we loved each other after one week of dating all those years ago. A part of me understood that my loving him was a commitment.
We went through many struggles as a couple, from being thousands of miles apart to the death of a parent, and I remember during the struggle even as a high school student making the choice to stay with him, to support him and love him, even though doing so made my life more difficult, more complicated, because of that decision.
I knew that the sacrifice I made was worth it because, well, loving another person is always worth the struggle. We made many mistakes and have had our share of issues, but I am confident that when we married just one month ago, we loved each other more than we ever thought was possible. Our love has deepened tremendously and our love has certainly been made more perfect since we first said it as teenagers. We are still learning to love each other more perfectly through self sacrifice and the struggle.
But I am convinced after all these years that love is a decision, and the fruits of the decision is tenderness, sweetness, and everything beautiful that there is in this world. You still loved her on the first date, but it took time to mature into something greater. She gave you the chance to love her, and you did. That is to be celebrated. Women can usually tell when a man is sincere.
Your actions, helping around the house, were evidence of your sincerity which is why they had such an impact. I can come across as overly sincere, so I have to pad out my words with actions and honest to God effort. We need more articles like this. Is what we think we know about love true then? Will it be possible for me to reblog this content on my blog?? I will credit your name and URL, please!!! Thanks for this blog I like the title that was a good hook and the superb content.
Its funny though we may go through different religious paths and God will judge between us people but every individual in your life teaches you something. Sadly many of us suffer not knowing what the problem is and are unable to help ourselves or others. I seriously hope men and women and of course myself start to really believe this and apply it in our lives. I shall be keeping your article for future references. Realizing the fact that I am not going to be with her just gives me heart attack — I now realize how truly I love her — I can now define love not in words but how I feel.
I am not a big fan of sharing my emotions, in fact this is my very first time I am writing something so personal on a public forum. I have tried whatever I can to contact her to express my emotions but all in vain — I guess sometimes you get to value things after you have lost them and just live with it. Therefore infatuation is not an affliction or curse that you have to ignore, not responding to that primal desire IS the affliction, fear is the affliction.
I may have differing views that many of you. I may think that humans are just another species of bags of blood and bones that , much like rabbits and dolphins, reproduce for pleasure and not for purpose. In my opinion, if you are ignoring this rare genetic gift, you are denying yourself something wonderful. What I am saying, and this may hurt some of you non-secular types out there, is that sex with someone you are infatuated with will ALWAYS be more meaningful.
I am studying to be stock market analyst, and I find it sad to say that what I read in my textbooks uncannily represents what some of you have written about here, I find it sad that people treat marriage as a stock.
What I am trying to say is that as humans, we are subject to emotions, urges and drives. Yes, they are chemical please do not fail to notice the irony with which I say this but they drive us as whole, as a civilization. The fact that its set in a time when 13 year olds and 17 year olds were falling in love is simply coincidental because 16th century England was accustomed to this, in modern times it could be interpreted as something completely different, yet with similar values.
Should this be banned too? Anyway, Im sure I have ignited many fires out there, and people are itching to bestow me with knowledge which I somehow chose to ignore, so please give me constructive criticism and lets discuss this like people as opposed to enemies.
Great article and many great and insightful responses. I have been married for 22 years. My wife is my very best friend and business partner. I, too, was not in love with her when we married. I liked her a lot and I enjoyed spending time with her, but the love evolved and continues to do so. While I agree that part of love is giving, there is so much more to it and it is much more than a verb.
In other words, you have to pay your dues. This means surviving the good and the bad. Love is managing expectations. Love is being completed by and completing the other person in the relationship. And, contrary to popular belief, love never goes away, it only grows. I can say confidently, that I love my wife with all my heart. I love everything about her even the things that frustrate the hell out of me.
And, I love her more today, than I did yesterday and I know I will love her tomorrow more than I do today. But, it is a process. It is a commitment. But most of all, it is friendship in its true unadulterated form. I would rather spend time with my wife than anyone else on the planet and it is because our friendship is so strong that we really enjoy being around one another and that, in my humble opinion, defines love. Sensitive and honest writing……. While I partially agree to the point you are making.
I also want to say that perhaps the number 1 factor that made it possible for you today to write this story is: You got lucky and if we take that story and swap in different people in our society I would bet the majority would come to some horrible ends. Lazy and undisciplined individuals are as likely to fall in love as energetic and dedicated ones.
Once the precious moment of falling in love has passed and the boundaries have snapped back into place, the individual may be disillusioned, but is usually non the larger for the experience. When limits are extended or stretched, however, they tend to stay stretched. Real love is a permanently self-enlarging experience. Falling in love is not. John Mayer expresses this sentiment in his song Love Is a Verb http: The perfect lover would be God, Agape Love.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. Not everybody gets that. Of cousr we are all subject to the lies of Hollywood, but this is one of the most universal and deadly in terms of relationships ones. Their definition of love will not last in the daily grind. Here I am 35 years married and in love more now than ever. God is love — and that love takes the form of giving everything you could and getting nothing in return.
But posts like these help to keep the love glowing!!! I do think you made a mistake that most young couples do. Rush into things and get married when neither is ready of know what real love is. In your case it turned out well in the end but in a lot of cases it ends in divorce. Romantic love is real, but it does not endure. What a wonderful and honest look at your relationship. Thanx so much for sharing it. How beautiful a marriage we have today because we continue to serve each other and Do love as a verb instead of trying to maintain an emotional high.
It was your job to begin with and you are just pulling your weight as a resident of your household and parent to your child. It is unfortunate you ever shlepped that work to your wife in the first place. I was talking about extra moments when I was busy, or went above and beyond at a moment she really needed it. It just seems like a really weird thing to say. I agree that love is a continuing dance that must be conscientiously affirmed between two people. My high school theology teacher used to tell us: Love takes over when feelings fail.
You love where you give! But receiving can be giving to; I accept your gift and thereby give you pleasure. Moreover, the number of verses comprising The Ten Commandments is thirteen. This article has much merit, but omits much. Forgive me, but I must tell you the following, and perhaps you all can provide some insight- I went into a marriage with the wisdom of the article in view. We were in a religious environment, and the mentality was very similar to what the author was describing.
But I was unsure. When I asked for some help with all of that, the prevailing counsel I got was entirely in line with this article- that my interpretation of love was shallow and not real. So I married anyway. We have had a fairly good life for over twenty years. But I can tell you this: I die inside a little each day wishing I could feel those things for my wife. We have respect and friendship, and almost everything else.
And she has all of that kind of love for me. But to this day I feel incomplete and struggle deeply with regret. The posts by Jenna down below have it right. Take my word for it: Morgan, thank you for sharing. The word Love is very vague, but I believe Love is very big, encompassing many things if not everything. A lifelong friend vs. It would be ideal to have them one and the same but most are not so lucky in life.
There are no easy answers. Choua that is a very kind hearted response. I agree with what you say, I can only caution that dealing with something like this on a daily basis is quite tiring. Life is hard either way, but I struggle with the fact that I made it harder on myself by this choice.
This is an error that religious rigidity compounds, and has for ages. God made us flesh and blood, and we need to at least respect that decision on his part enough to not pretend we are anything more than that. Morgan, I created an account just to tell you that I relate so very much to your story.
I was confused, and felt pressured to make a decision. I am lucky, and yet I feel so empty. I have no biblical reason to leave my husband, but I cry myself to sleep over it sometimes, wishing desperately that one of us would die so that I could be free…. Everything you described is explained at length at pre-marriage counseling sessions.
Many couples that go to these sessions end up not marrying at all. Every couple thinking of getting married should do it. So beautiful, I am reading this with tears starting up in my eyes. Long term love and commitment is the best. This is a great post and hits the nail right on the head. I have also noticed the importance of serving my wife, and how much of a difference that makes in our marriage when I focus on her rather than myself.
One thing however, that I picked up from your post relates to the idea of love languages. Everyone likes to give and receive love in different ways. There is nothing wrong with this, and it shows that you were making an effort to show love. Once you discovered what her love language is, you were able to focus on that and see the results the look in her eyes. In summary, it was awesome and commendable of you to do your best to show love early in your marriage — everyone should learn from that example.
This website has more information on that idea. Thank you — as someone who is young in life and still in their relationship, this advice is so helpful and guiding. It annoyed the shit out of me, for reasons I cannot wholly explain.
Below was my response. He writes it as if it is some kind of revelation in the twenty-first century, when poets, writers, and artists have been going at this for… forever. His letter gleams nothing except to reveal his ignorance about love, life, and, like every cheesy love movie out there, to appeal to what women want to hear.
It sounds more like an attempt at some sort of justification for an unfulfilled life. Love at 16,19, 25, those feelings were just as real to that person in time as the love you have now is to you if not more. But the truth is, the amount of emotions, the amount feelings, the amount of beauty, desires, and dreams that occupied that time and space, were just as potent and real.
For some, it was more. Anyways, what most people think as love, is really just selfishness. Think of the women in Blue Jasmine. No one wants to hold that kind of mirror to themselves.
But it requires honesty and vulnerability. I think the closest thing to love humans have is the love for their kids. Even then, selfishness lurks nearby. I think there is, but this guy missed the point. However, when I love I do love with all of me…emotion and daily giving of myself to the one I love. To me part of loving someone is to take care of them.
When I see the man I love I smile. The sound of his voice makes me smile. I enjoy taking care of him. I feel the emotion. I do believe that love is a verb. I feel as if you would like it. I have also seen some people end their relationship because they were chasing this type of passionate love. There is only a certain amount of passion you can feel until your body goes through withdrawal oxytoxin. My girlfriend and I are best friends, and love each others company.
Solidarity the sunny-side up kitchen. Please, write in a proper format when trying to sound proper about the idea of love not existing. Perhaps love brings pain in everyones life at some point and well, Disney helps us tune out and be engrossed in fiction just for that hour or so. I wonder if your ex-wife would like to see you splatter your non-love for her on the web.
Honestly, this is sort of a.. It takes men a lot longer to catch on! You should NOT make such an important decision like marriage, without fully reviewing every aspect of your choice.
Love is part of the decision but should not be the only part. You do it because you think you have to, not because you want to. Your Life is the most important thing in your world no matter what the case is. Sure I can say oh, firefighter sounds cool, I should be that! Which brings me back to my main point that you should NOT choose to spend the rest of your life with someone until you KNOW they are the right person for you. Patience Is A Virtue: We had a mutual attraction so naturally things progressed and of course there were jealousy issues mainly on my end , dishonesty, distrust, skepticism, guarded hearts, lack of commitment, etc etc etc..
Now tell me that another way is better?!? More importantly, 2 months is not nearly enough time to get to know someone well enough to decide to propose and spend the rest of your life with someone, not even 4 months, not a year…. More so, after a certain amount of time passes you feel more comfortable with your partner leaving you more vulnerable and letting your guard down… once your guard is completely down and you are completely open and honest with each other your partner has to let you in completely as well you will learn a lot more about your partner ….
Because as he said, love is a verb, not a noun. If you reached the end, Congrats and Thank You! Now that I finished the rant I wanted to end on a positive note I did comment on this but I feel it will get lost in the rant:. I used to think that major decisions in life like marriage should always be well thought out.
That two people should first date, then live together and then if everything is going well, after few years, get married. So although I agree with a lot of your points, I have something for you to consider…. What is right for you or me, might not be right for others. Sometimes those well- thought out decisions end in a miserable divorce and rushed marriages with a great success, because when it comes to love there is no definition or manual. You have to sort through a few options and figure out which one is right for you after careful consideration.
So the consideration put into who you should marry, should be a longggggggg time figuring out what is right for you…. If you and your partner are headed in different paths, have different goals for the future, different interests, wants and needs, etc etc.. Sure, you can ask your partner to be a director in NYC and your partner could ask you to work in L.
There are a lot of things that need to be considered and discussed before making the biggest decision of your life….
Iamges: average length of time dating before getting engaged
I wonder what I could gain from the bathmate alone. So I went out and got it. Welcome to the blog, hope to see you around here more.
This is very odd and would drive me crazy. Is it safe to use the bathmate and sizegenetics together?
The point still stands — a common way Muslims get married is similar to the common way Orthodox Jews get married. In all seriousness, lots of great insight here. That changes things, bigtime. There have been times in our relationship when I was crazy busy and traveling all the time, then times he was. Is it okay to use the goliath immediately?
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